I am going to have to believe that it is better late than never. Moving, getting married and getting settled have put me behind on Luke's birthday post. This has obviously been a big year for us, particularly the boys. Luke was the first one excited to move to Alabama and for "us to get married." He was open to change and couldn't wait to have sisters. Luke, on the surface, is a great go-with-the-flow type kid.
We moved during the summer, and had time to form our new family with my three boys and Donald's two girls. When he started school, Luke was happy and excited. But I could tell he was not adjusting as easily as he wanted to adjust. With his big, gregarious personality, I think Luke felt like he had to hold back and couldn't be as much himself until he had found a level of comfort.
He had a lot of adjustments at once. We lived in a new place, he had to make new friends. He was used to having lots of friends who loved him. He had to adjust to a new step-father and figure out how to accept this new authority. He had to adjust to a new church. He had to adjust to a new school and teachers and didn't get to go to PATS anymore.
Throughout, even with a bit of struggle to find his place in a new family and new place, Luke had a good attitude. He persevered and made friends. He joined lacrosse and went to a new youth group. His new teachers loved him, and he has found a way to fit in with new friends. He loves his new family, and he lets them know it.
One thing I love about Luke is that you always know where you stand with him. He does everything all out and always tries to do it with a good attitude. He has a fiery temper, but underneath that, he has the best heart.
Happy birthday, Luke.
Tuesday, January 15, 2013
Thursday, June 7, 2012
For Hannah on her 14th Birthday
For Hannah on (or close to) her 14th birthday. I am a little late with this post. I have been delinquent with blogging lately. Hannah, I do a blog for each of my children on their birthday each year. I will soon have 5 children to love and now have five birthday blogs to write!
In getting to know you this past year, I have enjoyed every minute. I have felt nothing but warmth and acceptance from you and have come to discover what a really neat young lady you have become.
You are driven in your goals, self-motivated and responsible. You are devoted to your friends and family and know what is important. I love that you are becoming a woman but can still enjoy playing outside and at the beach and will run down the big sand dune at the bluffs.
I appreciate that you have made the effort to make the boys feel easier in their transition to Spanish Fort. You have talked to them about the schools, introduced them to friends and made your friends aware that they are coming. That means a lot to them and to me.
I loved getting to see you sing at All-State Chorus. I loved our vacation to Colorado. I even love your obsession with "The Notebook." I have enjoyed getting to do girl things. Getting our toes done was fun and I look forward to getting to spend more time with you.
I think you know the story about the ring I wear that is a ring all the girls in my family wear. I thought I would have to wait for grandchildren to be able to pass it down. We all got ours at age 15. I can't wait to pass it down to you next year.
Happy Birthday. I know this will be a wonderful year for you!
##
In getting to know you this past year, I have enjoyed every minute. I have felt nothing but warmth and acceptance from you and have come to discover what a really neat young lady you have become.
You are driven in your goals, self-motivated and responsible. You are devoted to your friends and family and know what is important. I love that you are becoming a woman but can still enjoy playing outside and at the beach and will run down the big sand dune at the bluffs.
I appreciate that you have made the effort to make the boys feel easier in their transition to Spanish Fort. You have talked to them about the schools, introduced them to friends and made your friends aware that they are coming. That means a lot to them and to me.
I loved getting to see you sing at All-State Chorus. I loved our vacation to Colorado. I even love your obsession with "The Notebook." I have enjoyed getting to do girl things. Getting our toes done was fun and I look forward to getting to spend more time with you.
I think you know the story about the ring I wear that is a ring all the girls in my family wear. I thought I would have to wait for grandchildren to be able to pass it down. We all got ours at age 15. I can't wait to pass it down to you next year.
Happy Birthday. I know this will be a wonderful year for you!
##
For Jake on his 14th Birthday
Fourteen. It has been a big year. Many changes have passed and many changes are coming. The lesson Jake will have this year is one of learning to accept that change doesn't have to be a bad thing. Jake is not big on change. I can understand that. We, as a family, have been through so many changes in his short life. Most of them have been difficult. It would be easy to think that with change comes pain. But with change can come joy as well.
I hope Jake sees that he already has coped well with changes this past year and will be confident in the coming year. This year Jake changed middle schools, and while he didn't really want to do it, he did it with a good attitude. This change caused some bumps in his academic career, but the thing that make me proud of him is that the second half of the year he really made an effort to take responsibility for his education. He was proud of himself for taking control of his own achievements and improvements in those achievements.
In changing schools, he had to play with a new school band. Music, I think, is Jake's greatest area of confidence. It helps him transition and gives him an instant group of friends. He is good at the trumpet (and guitar) and has great things ahead in music. Even with his new school, he achieved a lot at competitions and performances. I love to watch him play and see him improve every year. I am proud for him that he has a great trumpet teacher and a great role model in Mr. Evans. If Jake takes advantage of everything Mr. Evans offers, he will be a better person for it.
This year we are moving. Jake is back and forth on his feelings about it. I know that his talent in the band will help him transition. He will have friends and a place at his new school. Our new family with help him transition as well. They are all actively trying to make sure he and his brothers feel comfortable and included. I know that it won't be easy and I will promise to help him keep in contact with his friends in Pensacola while getting him involved in his new life.
Jake will do better than he thinks with all of these changes. He is smart, talented and people love him. As long as he remembers that, he will have many friends and be happy. He has much to look forward to this year.
Accomplishment of note this year: He is finally taller than me. And has no problem lording it over me daily.
Something I dread for next year: A driver's permit.
Happy 14th Birthday, Jake!
##
I hope Jake sees that he already has coped well with changes this past year and will be confident in the coming year. This year Jake changed middle schools, and while he didn't really want to do it, he did it with a good attitude. This change caused some bumps in his academic career, but the thing that make me proud of him is that the second half of the year he really made an effort to take responsibility for his education. He was proud of himself for taking control of his own achievements and improvements in those achievements.
In changing schools, he had to play with a new school band. Music, I think, is Jake's greatest area of confidence. It helps him transition and gives him an instant group of friends. He is good at the trumpet (and guitar) and has great things ahead in music. Even with his new school, he achieved a lot at competitions and performances. I love to watch him play and see him improve every year. I am proud for him that he has a great trumpet teacher and a great role model in Mr. Evans. If Jake takes advantage of everything Mr. Evans offers, he will be a better person for it.
This year we are moving. Jake is back and forth on his feelings about it. I know that his talent in the band will help him transition. He will have friends and a place at his new school. Our new family with help him transition as well. They are all actively trying to make sure he and his brothers feel comfortable and included. I know that it won't be easy and I will promise to help him keep in contact with his friends in Pensacola while getting him involved in his new life.
Jake will do better than he thinks with all of these changes. He is smart, talented and people love him. As long as he remembers that, he will have many friends and be happy. He has much to look forward to this year.
Accomplishment of note this year: He is finally taller than me. And has no problem lording it over me daily.
Something I dread for next year: A driver's permit.
Happy 14th Birthday, Jake!
##
Thursday, October 20, 2011
Luke Calls Me Out
I had to pick Luke up from an after school meeting yesterday, so I left the other boys at home. When he got in the car, we talked and I said something sarcastic. I don't remember what it was, but just to be funny.
Luke: I hate sarcasm. You were just sarcastic and Jake is sarcastic all of the time. He is so sarcastic that I can't even tell when he means it and when he doesn't. He puts me down and then I feel bad.
Me: Well, Luke, you know he is going through a weirdo teenage phase, so why don't you just recognize that and not take it personally?
Luke: Soooo...I guess you never grew out of your weido teenage phase, huh Mama?
Score one for Luke.
Later on the ride home, Luke said, "Did you know that Ms. Hughes' son takes ballet?"
I said, "No, I don't know Ms. Hughes or her son."
Luke: Sheesh, Mama. That was not a literal question. Why did you take it literally? That was a set-up so that I could tell you a fact. I can't believe you thought it was a literal question.
Score two for Luke.
I have been effectively put in my place.
##
Luke: I hate sarcasm. You were just sarcastic and Jake is sarcastic all of the time. He is so sarcastic that I can't even tell when he means it and when he doesn't. He puts me down and then I feel bad.
Me: Well, Luke, you know he is going through a weirdo teenage phase, so why don't you just recognize that and not take it personally?
Luke: Soooo...I guess you never grew out of your weido teenage phase, huh Mama?
Score one for Luke.
Later on the ride home, Luke said, "Did you know that Ms. Hughes' son takes ballet?"
I said, "No, I don't know Ms. Hughes or her son."
Luke: Sheesh, Mama. That was not a literal question. Why did you take it literally? That was a set-up so that I could tell you a fact. I can't believe you thought it was a literal question.
Score two for Luke.
I have been effectively put in my place.
##
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
For Joseph on His 9th Birthday
One of my favorite things about Joseph is that he has always felt obligated to dance when he hears music. It is something he and I have in common. It's like he has no control of his body and the music takes over. That coupled with his desire to sing the thoughts in his head on a regular basis makes for great entertainment for us all. He is going to audition for Children's Chorus this year, and I think he will have a ball.
He's also a kid who likes everything in its place. He is organized and tidy and will clean up after his brothers without complaint because it must be just so. His room is the neatest, his bed is usually made and he loves to do dishes. All the makings for a good husband, I think!
I learned more recently about his soft heart. He was watching a strange cartoon about a warrior life and a girl was killed. He was sad and moved and affected by what he saw. I have known that he feels things deeply, but watching his emotion over this movie was an interesting affirmation that he is a still water that runs deep. When I was sick earlier this year, he was the only one who drew me a picture and wrote me a note telling me to get well.
Another thing that I love about Joseph is that he keeps up with his older brothers and always has. He keeps up because it has never occurred to him that he can't. He has always been incredibly capable in action, thought and communication. The knowledge that he can do something because he thinks he can is something I admire.
The thing I admire most, however, is that he is brave every day. He does the things he has to do when he has to do them whether he likes it or not. He has things that are sometimes hard to do or hard to know. He doesn't complain, he doesn't object. He does it. He faces it. And he goes on. It's a lesson we could all learn.
Happy Birthday, Joseph.
Click the link below to see some awesome dance moves!
https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=661253267&sk=photos#!/video/video.php?v=10150126467448268
He's also a kid who likes everything in its place. He is organized and tidy and will clean up after his brothers without complaint because it must be just so. His room is the neatest, his bed is usually made and he loves to do dishes. All the makings for a good husband, I think!
I learned more recently about his soft heart. He was watching a strange cartoon about a warrior life and a girl was killed. He was sad and moved and affected by what he saw. I have known that he feels things deeply, but watching his emotion over this movie was an interesting affirmation that he is a still water that runs deep. When I was sick earlier this year, he was the only one who drew me a picture and wrote me a note telling me to get well.
Another thing that I love about Joseph is that he keeps up with his older brothers and always has. He keeps up because it has never occurred to him that he can't. He has always been incredibly capable in action, thought and communication. The knowledge that he can do something because he thinks he can is something I admire.
The thing I admire most, however, is that he is brave every day. He does the things he has to do when he has to do them whether he likes it or not. He has things that are sometimes hard to do or hard to know. He doesn't complain, he doesn't object. He does it. He faces it. And he goes on. It's a lesson we could all learn.
Happy Birthday, Joseph.
Click the link below to see some awesome dance moves!
https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=661253267&sk=photos#!/video/video.php?v=10150126467448268
Monday, June 20, 2011
For Luke on his 11th Birthday
Luke is my gregarious one. He has never met a stranger. And the kid can talk a blue streak. Sometimes when you are around him a lot, you really start to believe silence is golden. But that is only a fleeting thought in my mind, because Luke has the personality he is meant to have. Having that personality allows him to be fearless when he gets on a stage and sings to a full house. I would never have done that at his age. Probably ever. He does it without a second thought. And if he makes a mistake, he doesn't beat himself up about it, he gets up and does it the next time still having no fear. He believes he can grow up to be a performer, and I think that anyone with his degree of belief will not let anything get in his way. Nothing he accomplishes would surprise me.
The thing I find interesting about Luke is that he has this loud and spirited personality, but when he has to get down to work, he gets the job done. I remember in 2nd grade when he learned the lesson, "All I do is get to school and tell a few jokes and then get down to business." And he has ever since. His teacher this year was surprised when I mentioned his propensity to talk. She just saw his conscientious desire to finish his work and get good grades.
The thing about Luke that makes me proudest, is that he is kind. He feels compassion for those he sees being treated badly. I think that he is turning into a man who will do the right thing even in the face of others doing wrong. He knows the difference between right and wrong. And he acts on it. He will not be done wrong, and he won't let any treat someone else wrong.
As a child it is often disrespectful to talk to adults a certain way, but there are times I have watched him and he has been right. And who am I to squelch his expression of what should be.
Happy Birthday Luke.
The thing I find interesting about Luke is that he has this loud and spirited personality, but when he has to get down to work, he gets the job done. I remember in 2nd grade when he learned the lesson, "All I do is get to school and tell a few jokes and then get down to business." And he has ever since. His teacher this year was surprised when I mentioned his propensity to talk. She just saw his conscientious desire to finish his work and get good grades.
The thing about Luke that makes me proudest, is that he is kind. He feels compassion for those he sees being treated badly. I think that he is turning into a man who will do the right thing even in the face of others doing wrong. He knows the difference between right and wrong. And he acts on it. He will not be done wrong, and he won't let any treat someone else wrong.
As a child it is often disrespectful to talk to adults a certain way, but there are times I have watched him and he has been right. And who am I to squelch his expression of what should be.
Happy Birthday Luke.
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
For Jake on his 13th Birthday
Today is Jake's 13th birthday. A teenager. 8th grade. This year he started shaving, got cool hair and has grown to almost my height. It's hard to believe that he has only one more year of middle school. Everyone always tells you how fast it goes by, and it really does.
Jake is my quiet child. But his quiet is not an indication of passivity or weakness. His quiet is an indication of a strength and resolve that he doesn't feel the need to advertise. When he got to middle school, I asked about making friends. He told me he was making friends, but that many kids were "inappropriate." I laughed. And discussion of his definition of "inappropriate" ensued. He didn't want to discuss it because, "I would never say those things to you."
I was struck that he would feel respectful enough of me to refrain from this inappropriate talk. I insisted on the talk, because I am the one he has to listen and make sure that he is okay. I was struck that he was less interested in the coolness of crappy language and more in behaving respectfully. He is growing into the kind of person I hope he will be (not to say that I am deluded enough to think we won't have our moments, but as he pointed out, Luke will probably be the troublesome one).
And Jake is funny. When I make a mistake or trip over my own two feet, I often catch him out of the corner of my eye with a smirk. He gets the joke, he is developing a sarcastic sense of humor which I totally appreciate. He also dishes my quirks right back. I am such a grammar freak, that if I send him a text with an error, his response is now, "grammatical error, can not compute, grammatical error, can not compute."
At his age, I know many boys who do not want to be stuck with their brothers or mothers. Jake is not one of those. He has started to play guitar and trumpet and video games alone in his room some, but he wants to have his brothers around. He is kind to everyone and gets a kick out of the youngest. It is fun for me that sometimes when Joseph says something funny that he didn't mean to be, Jake will look over his head to catch my eye and laugh quietly. We are in on it together now. And any time I ever need him to stay home with them, he does not complain or argue.
My goal is to raise boys who know how to take personal responsibility for their actions, know the difference between right and wrong, will stand up for someone who is wronged and will do the right thing when no one is looking. He is on his way.
##
Jake is my quiet child. But his quiet is not an indication of passivity or weakness. His quiet is an indication of a strength and resolve that he doesn't feel the need to advertise. When he got to middle school, I asked about making friends. He told me he was making friends, but that many kids were "inappropriate." I laughed. And discussion of his definition of "inappropriate" ensued. He didn't want to discuss it because, "I would never say those things to you."
I was struck that he would feel respectful enough of me to refrain from this inappropriate talk. I insisted on the talk, because I am the one he has to listen and make sure that he is okay. I was struck that he was less interested in the coolness of crappy language and more in behaving respectfully. He is growing into the kind of person I hope he will be (not to say that I am deluded enough to think we won't have our moments, but as he pointed out, Luke will probably be the troublesome one).
And Jake is funny. When I make a mistake or trip over my own two feet, I often catch him out of the corner of my eye with a smirk. He gets the joke, he is developing a sarcastic sense of humor which I totally appreciate. He also dishes my quirks right back. I am such a grammar freak, that if I send him a text with an error, his response is now, "grammatical error, can not compute, grammatical error, can not compute."
At his age, I know many boys who do not want to be stuck with their brothers or mothers. Jake is not one of those. He has started to play guitar and trumpet and video games alone in his room some, but he wants to have his brothers around. He is kind to everyone and gets a kick out of the youngest. It is fun for me that sometimes when Joseph says something funny that he didn't mean to be, Jake will look over his head to catch my eye and laugh quietly. We are in on it together now. And any time I ever need him to stay home with them, he does not complain or argue.
My goal is to raise boys who know how to take personal responsibility for their actions, know the difference between right and wrong, will stand up for someone who is wronged and will do the right thing when no one is looking. He is on his way.
##
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